To myself, Saturday 3 March. The night before. When the self doubt starts.
It eats me up I can feel the gnawing in my stomach making me want to puke. Fight or flight I suppose, having started down this road, riding this roller coaster you can’t get off. I feel strapped in. I wouldn’t rather be at home but I would.
Every games like this except these ones are worse, the secret is to trust the players. Hand it over to them. Can they do what they always do. Is that enough? The frustration lies in watching them and hoping they will do something they’ve never done. Wishing someone to be something they are not. People can only do things their way, not any other players way.
The reality is we try and condition them to do and act and perform in a particular way in a given situation. Give them those tools. If they don’t have the tools they can’t do it. So we have to trust the players. Collectively are they able to compensate for each other. Individually can they win their individual battles.
Why do I put myself through this? Why? Do I enjoy it? For the fleeting moment of joy, or the satisfaction of knowing I can do it. I suppose it gives others pleasure and enjoyment. But me? I dunno. I feel responsible for raising their hopes & dreams. Better to be here than not. Others would give their arm to be here. Coyote Camogie.
If you never try you’ll never know and in truth, you need to know. It really comes back to those nights and days in places like Lavey when we realized, yes, we can. We can. Hand it over to the players. It’s in their hands now.