Stop Here or Gently Pass

This piece as written for the Omagh CBS 150th Anniversary Book and Appeared in Edited Version There. Here is the original piece.

“The river was the colour of oxtail soup. . .”

This, claimed Lewis Meenagh, would be the opening line of his book. The words had come to him in a moment of inspiration, when he was teaching in the Tech, breaking for a moment to gaze out over the Strule. He taught me English for four years, did Lewis Meenagh, and I heard this many times.

The line has stuck with me over the years, like indeed has much of what I learned in Lewis’s A level English class. Likewise many of the happenings in the class. There were ten of us there. He seemed to like having ten pupils. At one stage there were eleven but the number was pruned back to ten.

There were the others that were present, large as life. Stanley Kowalski, Stella, King Lear and the Fool, the Knight, the Mayor of Casterbridge, Heathcliffe. . . Blanche DuBios certainly wasn’t the sort of girl you might meet at the disco we were told, “but you never know Passmore!” Lewis would add as a tantalising aside.

We slipped seamlessly from one text to another, all brought to life with his startling local perspective. Whether that was explaining the intricacies of the rhyme scheme of Wordsworth’s sonnets, or Chaucer’s Wife of Bath brought to live as if she were some woman bringing her shopping home from Wellworths before heading off on a wee trip down to Canterbury along with the other pilgrims.

The classes were nothing if not entertaining. Lewis had the remarkable gift of making you think global and act local. Breathing life into Tennessee Williams Streetcar as if the characters were a colourful group that inhabited Bogan’s bar. “Could I take Stanley… ehhh think I could.”

In Lewis’s worldview , a savage kick up the rear would have put a swift end to Stanley Kowalski’s predatory behaviour and saved Blanche a lot of bother. I think though even he thought her beyond redemption. He liked Marlon Brando and Vivien Leigh in the film version, certainly we watched it often enough.

Another memory, Lewis on demonstrating the meaning of the word onomatopoeia: “The moth battered softly at the window.” Simply brilliant.

He took great delight in one lad who, when asked which football team he supported, replied Carrickmore and United. Of course to Lewis, Carrickmore was bad enough but United, without the ‘Manchester’ displayed an arrogance that he, as a self-proclaimed Arsenal supporter, gleefully pounced upon.

After I left the Brothers and was studying for my degree in English at Queen’s I met him up the town one day, and he invited me to come to his house for a chat. I duly obliged, something to lubricate the evening tucked under my arm. We talked about life and literature, the Brothers, my father. The teachers he liked and disliked. The special opprobrium he reserved for one or two.

It was the last time I was talking to him. For a man who had such an impact on my life I felt in several ways I had let him down. Once he asked me to help him with something and I was unable to do so. That bothered me and still does. Yet in my working life there is a hardly a day goes by when I don’t use something or other I picked up in Lewis Meenagh’s English class.

And I recall those days spent reading King Lear, or the Changeling and all the guys that shared the class with me. He said to my good friend Declan Coyle, who was gone too before he reached the age of thirty, “You don’t like me Coyle, do you?” Whilst Lewis couldn’t have been further from the truth, Decky froze before spluttering a terrified “I do like you sir.” Lewis chuckled, he may occasionally have got angry, but on this occasion he was toying with us.

My time at the CBS began long before I turned up in September 1979. My father had taught there for much of his working life, in fact right up until he had a heart attack in the school on December 1977. It was like a second home to us. School stuff littered our home, setsquares, large timetable plans, geography books, homework, you name it.

When I was at St Colmcille’s, after school I enjoyed going into the Brothers to see my father and get to run about the place. When I was young I went on various CBS school trips with my parents and remember the older boys being unfailingly kind to me.

So, when I pitched up at the Brothers in 1979, there were more familiar faces among the teaching staff than there were among the pupils. There was Mickey Grimes, and Stevie McKenna and PA. And Gerard Haughey, Cormac and Mick O’Kane. Paddy Groogan, Seamus Woods and Vincent McGill. Men my da held in the highest regard and I still do.

Looking back it was as if I had a posse of guardian angels watching my step. People like Seamus Woods, who reproached me for some act or other once by saying “I’m disappointed in you.” I knew what he meant, It was his way of saying “your da would be disappointed in you”. He was right.

The Christian Brothers themselves too were fundamentally decent guys. For all the criticism they have shipped over the years, it was a lay teacher that turned me off one subject. I have now returned to the subject almost thirty years later, so even that wasn’t a permanent effect.

The school then was different than it is now. The entrance is different now, and the entrance process itself is likely to change. In our time there was a place called the Smoking Shelter at the rear of the gym where pupils went to smoke. If this activity wasn’t actively permitted it certainly was tolerated. There a regular gang gathered to talk, slag, cadge cigarettes and generally have the craic. On the coldest days there we would be found in a fugue of smoke, happy as sandflies talking about everything and nothing in particular.

Since then I have had the honour of being asked back to the school a few times to functions and events. It is different now. Once seated at a function, I gazed up at the ceiling in the assembly hall, above which some of the lads used to bunk off classes via doorway they had discovered, the adventure almost ending in disaster as one of them put a foot through the wooden roof one day.

As I walked down the corridor the last time I was there, corridors I had walked and ran thousands of times, they all of a sudden seemed older. I had a flash on my inward eye of a burly figure in a brown tweed sort of jacket, with thickish glasses, brown briefcase in hand, head down, driving down the corridor through a sea of boys who knew to step aside out of his road. For all his bluster he was a hell of a guy. Like most of them.

And I remembered a line from Wordworth that Declan Coyle used to recite when he’d had a few in the Union Bar at Queen’s, having learnt it by heart for Big Lewis’s English class.

‘The music in my heart I bore, long after it was heard no more.’

So. Here’s to Lewis, my mate Decky Coyle, Mickey Grimes, Paddy Groogan and my da of course, and the rest of them who each bestrode those corridors like a colossus over the years.

The Whaling Tradition in Hurling

‘Call me Ishmael’. . . one of the most famous opening lines in literature, it could so easily have continued ‘. . . and I’m a hurler.

The comings and goings associated with the GAA 125 have led to a great deal of introspection and reflection on the last century and a quarter of our great games. Among the gems uncovered from highbrow academic research, attic clear outs and garage spring cleans have been documentary evidence that hurling could so nearly have been an international sport, but for a global decline in whaling.

In an old seaside shanty, down near Bantry that was scheduled for the wrecking ball before the credit crunch hit (now earmarked for development as a visitor centre) a gang of builders discovered an old seaman’s chest clasped shut with a rustic padlock. Serendipity meant a small key dangled by a length of gnarled hide. Upon opening the creaking chest, the builders realised it no ordinary seaman had stowed his belongings. No, this was the box of Pandora and the builders, one from Newtownshandrum and the other from Portumna in Galway tipped back their 125 peaked caps, ruffled the hair and gazed in wonder.

The chest held treasures beyond measure: a pair of ancient hurleys and an almost-finished stave from a barrel with a rough bas fashioned at the end; a leather bag with half a dozen or eight wizened and browned sliotars; a couple of pairs of nailed brogues; a peaked cap with the legend Corcaigh embroidered across the front. Other items included a smaller rosewood box containing a series of dog eared parchments; some dageurrotype photographs of sepia tone – one in particular of a striking young women of sallow skin and waved dark hair. It bore the legend Dona Christiana.

Unfolding the yellowing parchments, the fella from Newtownshandrum was surprised and stunned as the most remarkable tale unfurled before his eyes. The Galway man, more used to utility than ornament, set about boiling the kettle for tay and sandwiches and a read of the Irish Daily Star which he unfolded from the back seat pocket of his trous.

In 1887 a shipful of whalers had set out from the port of Kingstown in Cork, bound for the rich seas near the Isles of Cape Verde. They enjoyed the sailing on the vessel the Prionsias O Murchu, a ship of sturdy construction that handled itself well in all weathers but excelled in negotiating rough seas and storms. When they needed reassurance, the whalers from Cork knew that aboard the O Murchu, no evil should they fear.

The parchments revealed the ship sailed hither and thither, occasionally meeting with a sister vessel the Sean O Ceallaigh or the Naomh Niocláis. Both were formidable sea faring hulks that were manned by other sturdy fellas from seaports and fishing villages along the Southern seabord. Occasionally a gobdaw from the far North would be on board, acting the wag but being treated with a mixture of amusement and astonishment as he guldered in a loud voice.

The reason the whalers from Cork loved sailing? They could disembark on the beautiful Cape Verde Islands, relax a while under the blue Southern sky and when fully rested, they break out the barrel of hurls and set about a match amongst themselves. Sand in their feet, wind in their hair. Occasionally an ash hurl split and burst; then the ship’s cooper would fashion a new blade from an old barrel, or on occasion he might scrimshaw a bit of whale bone for the same effect. The mammalian caman swung easily with a slight oiliness and the unmistakeable whiff of ambergris.

The other presssing occupational hazard was the pucking of a ball into the Atlantic, especially during on-deck training sessions at sea. Typically the Northern hurler was the most likely candidate, pulling wildly sending another sliotar billowing off to starboard and down to the hurlers in Davey Jones’ locker room where the inches were no more.

Betimes the O Ceallaigh would pitch up or maybe the Naomh Niocláis would weigh anchor and a contest between crews would ensue with the occasional blood flow from a split hurler joining the detritus and entrails of dead leviathans trickling into the Atlantic.

The highlight of the trip for the owner of our sea chest, a fella called Ronald O’ Donovon Rossa, was the regular stopover in the island of Madeira, there to sample to the local fine produce and to meet his beloved Christiana. A fine and graceful athlete, she took to the hurling with a gay abandon and pucked the sliotar as sweetly as any of the lads on the ship. Many times he returned to visit and they sported, stick and ball, hand in hand on the beach.

It was almost the start of a beautiful legacy until alas, an unmentionable disaster was to strike and soon the whaling was no more. But, to this day the people of Madeira think what might have been.

The Lawstrynx

The Lawstrynx he lives a very strange life,

He sleeps most the days & lives by the night.

But most times he just can’t recall where he’s been,

He’s that busy been seen,

If u get what I mean.

Good times, & mad times every night of the week,

But the Lawstrynx don’t know

Cos he don’t know where he’s been.

His wallet’s much lighter a morning,

His head is in pain

But tonight & the next he’ll go again & again

And again & again he’ll adle his brain,

Wondrin’ where has he been with & who & even what was her name.

He’s chalkface white, hollow, washed out & strained

Gaunt from too much in his haunt yet again.

Supping & chinking & shorting & shots,

Talking & talking about nothing a lot.

So if you should see him, call him by his name,

And remind him that Lawstrynx means the man with no brain.

The Look, the Brief, The Design & Your Cover

This piece was commissioned and written for the Marketing Institute of Ireland Blog.

It is amazing what people think constitutes preparing material for publication. In this post, we look at what is involved in preparing materials for print. We start with how to plan ahead by writing a brief, commissioning the design, and assembling your copy and photographs. Plus what a designer wants but rarely gets.

These tips and suggestions are as applicable to new media solutions as they are to traditional printed media.

Planning

The production of a printed brochure is the sort of task that can assume all sorts of significance, sometimes it can be a case of too many cooks. Other times, if you are inexperienced and left on your own, it can be fraught.

The key to effective publications is good planning, right from the very start. So you start with the date you need it and work back. If you don’t have a deadline date. . . create one! From there you can start to work out your critical path.

Engage a Designer if You Haven’t Already Got One

At an early stage, involve a designer. If you already have a retained design house, speak to them.

Alternatively send out a sample spec of documents to get an idea of costs from three or four designers and from there, pick the one that you think you can work with. Have a look at their portfolio. Ask friends. You want an agency or designer with whom you can build a relationship based on trust. Over time they should become an extension of your business.

The Written Brief

The brief’s purpose is to ensure everyone has a clear understanding of what you are trying to achieve. It provides a good reference point as the project develops to ensure people haven’t gone off at a tangent.

The brief must comprise a complete description of the project — what you are trying to do; why it is needed; what the desired outcome is; who is the target audience; and who are the key stakeholders.

Get clear agreement in-house on what it is that you are trying to achieve. This may be an ongoing process with some to-ing and fro-ing with senior colleagues, but you are aiming to achieve a written brief.

Your written brief should cover the following areas:

  • the target audience
  • the call to action
  • quantity required and how they will be distributed
  • the deadline
  • budget
  • delivery details
  • any marketing communications issues you are trying to address
  • any ideas on colour
  • use of images, i.e. photography, illustration
  • cover design ideas
  • printing and format specifications
  • how the material will be supplied, for example in Microsoft Word

You should also include any guidelines on the use of your logo, your previous materials and if you have a sample of another design, include it.

Give the Designer Final Edited Copy

Once you have your designer onboard and they have received your brief you will need to source your materials in-house and get organised.

Design layout of a document should only begin after copy has been finalised, copy-edited and read in-house.

Yes, the development of design concepts can begin while the client is still assembling copy, but once layout starts any changes can mean effectively starting again. That in turn will add to the costs.

You should avoid giving copy to your designer in batches. Even in big jobs it is better, through good project management, to be in a position to hand over the entire copy file in one go, along with all imagery.

This is what a designer dreams of but rarely gets:

  • Everything up front, all copy and images i.e. nothing to follow.
  • Final clean copy. It will have already been copy-checked in-house and will require little further editing at proof.
  • Clearly marked on the copy will be the positioning of all the images.
  • A file of photographs/images cross-referenced to the place they appear in the copy as per the note above.
  • Captions for all photographs prepared to a standardised format.
  • Contact details – accurate and up to date, address, email, phone etc.

Editing and Proofreading

There are two distinct stages in the production process that are sometimes confused – editing/copy editing and proofreading.

Editing is the work that is done in-house before anything is sent to the designer. Good editing will result in final copy that is ready for submission to the designer.
Thereafter you are into the realm of proofreading, the process by which the designer provides you with made up pages and you read them and return them corrected.

The designer will need one person, one point of contact, with whom they liaise. That’s you! You will need to be available to provide feedback on design, check and proof read design layouts and check off proofs as they are supplied.

You alone should have the authority and responsibility to make decisions about layout and copy. Arriving at a situation where changes are being made by people who were not involved in the earlier design process can be catastrophic and costly.

By all means circulate the material in house but as the project manager/editor/copy editor you need to be responsible for assimilating internal comments and feedback and explaining that you are working to an agreed brief.

Note that the author of the material is not necessarily the best person to proofread. Not least because they can often get precious about their beloved piece of writing!

As the job proceeds, someone needs to take responsibility for proofing the job and communicating amendments to the designer. Proofreading is a different a set of skills distinct from those required for editing documents.

Personally, I like to use Adobe Acrobat for all proofing work between myself and my designer. The built in editing and commenting tools are simple and easy to use.