Tag Archives: Copywriting

A Letter From West Britain

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A pint of plain is yer only man

Dear Charles,

We’re having the most wonderful time here in West Britain.

The native Celts are such a quaint people, very much like the Scots, but not at all like the Welsh.

I can understand why Queen Victoria was quite taken with the place when she came here. It is such a shame we left them with such wonderful buildings.

We went to this frightfully large football stadium called Croke Park where they showed a video of young men wrestling with one another.

The stadium was so large, one wonders what it must be like on the top floor on a breezy day. Exceedingly windy. A bit like sharing the bed with your father after some haggis and turnips when one is staying at Balmoral one would imagine.

The lovely gentleman presented Philip with the most beautifully carved ash. Will be excellent for beating Grouse next winter one thinks.

These dear people, the really have tried most awfully hard to make us welcome. One dear chap with a large tummy seized the royal forearm quite forcefully in Croke Park. I got quite a little shock to tell the truth. I thought Philip had overmedicated again. Thankfully a dear chap form the police removed his hand before he tried any funny business. Of course your father didn’t notice, he was busy looking at some young girls in short skirts chasing each other.

We also were taken to a large pub that makes its own beer. It was very amusing. The people there seemed to think one hadn’t seen beer poured before. One remembers your aunt’s mother and I cleaning up after Andrew when we converted the Hanover room into a country pub for he and his friends to play in. Those other awful chaps. Your father was most keen to drink the beer they served, but one reminded him that we had been advised not to use the WC.

The Glory of Her Ass

Last night we had some jolly Irish dancing and bagpiping. The accents are most dreadfully funny. One can’t understand a word they say.

Your father keeps talking about the Dear Micks, I fear he may have been talking too loudly when his hearing aid was out of battery.

Today we are going to the National Stud Farm. As you know that’s the real reason one came here.

Still, one thinks it has been worth all the other dreary nonsense if we can get a few of the horses sorted out.

I hope William and Catherine are keeping well. Her sister’s bottom has been causing quite an impression, one has been told by Philip. One hopes it won’t lead to another Anus Horriblis.

Is mise,

Elizabeth R

(Your Mother)

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Writer

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My paternal grandmother lived in a fairly remote cottage in Tullymore in Co Armagh. She died before I was born, so I never had the chance to meet her. She was by all accounts a bit of a character.

At one stage in her later years, she broke her leg and was housebound. Having been predeceased by her husband, she was home alone, no-one called that often. So to break the loneliness she started writing a letter to herself everyday so the postman would call on his rounds and she would have someone to talk to.

I can empathise with her. One of the downsides of working as a freelance is that very occasionally, and usually when I am cloistered away working on something, I find myself sometimes spending an entire day talking to no-one other than my young daughters and Joanna, our Polish babysitter. The girls potter about the place and occasionally come in to brief me on some drama concerning Peppa the Pig, or perhaps the hens that live in our back garden. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy talking to them and to Joanna. Her English is a hell of a lot better than my Polish; in fact my two-year-old daughter Treasa has now started speaking Polish too.

That is the loneliness of the long distance writer. When I worked at UU I spent a few years as my only departmental representative on a particular campus and was happy in my own company with my colleagues and my boss in particular an hour away if they were needed (and they were!).

I miss the casual conversations with people you might run into at the coffee shop, when posting a letter, when to-ing and fro-ing, to and from meetings, home, other offices etc etc. I don’t miss all the nonsense though, not one little bit.

The last week I have been working for a partner in the US and another here in Ireland, conscious of two time zones. It is interesting the perception when you are working for others. The work must be done, but your own time is the malleable, flexible factor. To do it late at night, early in the morning, whenever. Snatch an hour here and there. It is essentially a solitary pursuit, one that is highly satisfying, and rewarding. I do occasionally miss the opportunity to bounce things off others in person.

And the loneliness? Well, I suppose at least I haven’t resorted to emailing myself. Not  yet anyway.

26 Ways

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A few years ago I came across the writing of John Simmons. At the time I was sort of casually hunting about looking for a decent book to give me some fresh ideas on writing copy for business. When I worked at the University, the management and the administrators about the place wrote deadening, stultifying prose that was teeming with best practice, deliverables, cutting edges. . . the whole effect of course was to create a centre of excellence. Aren’t they everywhere?

I knew that this sort of tripe most definitely wouldn’t do if I was going to work for other people. Although I could write with the best of them, I could feel myself gradually getting mired in this nonsense.

Any books on writing copy seemed to be written more in the form of self help books by American copywriters, full of big bold headlines like ‘How to ensure your email is opened’ or ‘Twelve ways to write a sales letter.’ All good stuff I’m sure, but I didn’t feel the immediate need for a writing recovery programme.

So when I discovered John Simmons work almost by accident, it was a breath of fresh air. I think the first book I read was The Invisible Grail. The opening sentence reads:

‘The basic narrative of this book is the quest for the ‘grail’ that will enable brands to build better relationships with their audiences.’

Hmmm I thought, interesting but not rocket science. As I read on however I became more and more enthused. John Simmons advocated an entirely new way of writing for businesses. Creative. Engaging. Using humour. Poetry. Taking inspiration directly from great works. He says:

‘Words are a creative force: words that write poems, tell jokes, engage people in conversations. Words that tell stories.’

This last sentence in particular intrigued me. Telling stories. Reading The Invisible Grail, I quickly moved onto his other works, We, Me, Them and It and Dark Angels. These books tell the story of how you can write well for any purpose without lapsing into corporate speak. But more interestingly how to bring your work alive be being daring, adventurous and using the influences that are all around you. Anyone who is interested in improving their writing should read them. Now.

I have started his latest work which I am enjoying: ‘Twenty-six ways of looking at a blackberry: How to let writing release the creativity of your brand‘

If you have the chance and the time, try reading John Simmons. You’ll find at least 26 ways to improve your writing.