My iPhone iS behaviNg badly. After beiNg iN my iPocket last week iN the iPissing raiN, iT iS showiNg a contiNuiNg error message telliNg me that thiS iPhone iS not optiMized wiTh this deviCe. So the iPhone gets damp iT gets useless. iMpressiVe.

To add iNsult to iNjury, the iPhone wonk iSpoke to @ apple tells me they can fix iT yes they can but iT wiLl cost iN the regiOn of £140. Problem is concurrently Angela dropped her iPhone and iT has a cracked screen. iFeel liKe telliNg apple to go iPhuck themselves to be honest.

But whiSht. . . TheiR iS some boy iN Derry apparently wiLl do repaiRs more cheaply. iWill give hiM a shout.

iN the meantiMe here’s today’s marketiNg tiP.

iF you want somethiNg to sell, just stiCk a small iNfront of iT. No matter how crap iT iS. Used to be you stuck a sliCe of liMe anythiNg would sell. Now just the iWill do.